Dan McCarthy’s stuff. http://www.danmccarthy.org/
Blankity blank’s status: “feeling sick to my stomach, can’t get sick now. Going to get my hair permed tonight. Ohh my body aches!”
2009 called and said, “What the fuck is a perm?” Love, Jenny
Dear Peebles, what are you doing to these young people?
I got a letter from my aunt today. I’ll have to tell you about it in person.
“If you keep running from God, the anointing that He’s placed on your life will be lifted and then you’ll just be another singer.” The letter was two or three pages long.
I know she loves me very much. She ended the letter by telling me that she’s always looked at me like I was the daughter that just didn’t get to live with her.
*tear*
Which reminds me of my mom calling me the other day and leaving me a voicemail….about how she was going through the letters and cards that I had sent to her as a little girl. She said she opened up one of the Christmas cards and there was a dollar in it. I had written her a little note about some church program the following May that I would be singing in and would really love to finally see her again. My mom is laughing while she’s telling me all of this in her voicemail. Listening to that message immediately took me back to a place of being a pathetic, desperate little girl hoping with every fiber of her being that if she would give everything she had, her momma would finally come visit her. Of course, being a poor kid with no cash, I only had that silly dollar….but the intention was so pure and hopeful…and at the time, I really thought it might work. That maybe if I paid her, she would come. I know my mom was (and even still is) completely clueless of what that act meant to me and how I just wanted to give everything to see her and hug her. Needless to say, I had one of the heartiest cries I’ve had in a long time after hearing about it. She didn’t end up coming to visit. She didn’t come until my wedding day– I was 19. I hadn’t thought about that time in my life for a long time. I was so pure and fragile. I wish I could pay little Jenny a visit from the future.
I’m rambling. Not even making sense.
Good night, friends. p.s. I love my mom.
It’s so funny to me how OFF people’s perception can be.
I can only hope to write just one song in my one short life that will affect just one person the way that this song just affected me. I really enjoy her voice.
Studio version: http://www.last.fm/music/Brandi+Carlile/_/Before+It+Breaks
I appreciate the fragility of her LIVE performance.
Around here, it’s the hardest time of year
Waking up, the days are even gone
The collar of my coat
Lord help me, cannot help the cold
Will the rain drops sting my eyes
or keep them closed?
But I’m feelin’ no pain
I’m a little lonely and my quietest friend
Have I the moonlight? Have I let you in?
Say it aint so, say I’m happy again
Say it’s over
Say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks
I’m alright. Don’t I always seem to be?
Aren’t I swinging on the stars? Don’t I wear them on my sleeves?
Went looking for a crossroads, It happens everyday
And whichever way you turn, I’m gonna turn the other way
Say it’s over
Say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Learn to let it bend before it breaks
Approaching 30. Things gotta get done. All.I’m.Sayin.
After not talking to or hearing from my Pastor of 12 years in forever, he called me out of the blue the other day just to tell me that God had put it on his heart to have me read Numbers 23:19-20. He said that what may seem like luck to me is an ordained blessing that’s been placed on my life and that it’s in fact not by chance but by the “master plan” that I have favor, or should I say “divine favor”. Anyway, I’m sure that my whopping 3 readers don’t believe in that stuff and have grown quite tired of hearing me ramble about all my Bible thumpin’ church background, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some greater power was at work on my behalf. I remember receiving “prophecies” and whatnot throughout my childhood and early adult life claiming that I would be and do things that I would never expect or imagine and often referring to said favor. Etc etc. I have church stories that would fill a book and I need to stop constantly bringing everything around to them… point is, I’m thankful– whatever force it be.
Numbers 23:19-20
19God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
20Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.







