a journal by a jenny

Smoke and Diapers

Jenny — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:24:28 +0000

“It smells like smoke and diapers in here.” Oh you wait.

Holy shit. It’s been almost TWO YEARS since I’ve written you, Journal! So like, um yeah, I’m pregnant. Completely unplanned and very unexpected. I think I’m still in shock. Ha! Wait, it’s a journal and honesty is key—I’m definitely still in shock. So far it’s a plastic HPT and a long, stressful To-Do List. I have yet to plug into the whole, “OMG, it’s a baby!”. I do, however, have an appointment for my first ultrasound 2/14. How appropriate; I hear the heartbeat for the first time on Valentine’s Day (our 2nd anniversary). *Sigh* I can’t even begin to wrap my head around all of this. I shan’t go without mentioning that with such news comes the quitting of my meds, booze, and smokes. Oooh yeeeaaaah, totally awesome! Aaaand I now drink “1/2 caff” bullshit coffee (which is a far cry from my Starbucks and energy drinks that I had so grown to love/need).

Fun(ner) facts: I’ve gained like at least 5 lbs ALREADY. No, not because I’m “eating for two” but because my appetite feels like it’s in a constant state of PMS. Anyway, I’m about 6 weeks pregz and I was ON THE PILL. Dude, I can tell the exact date of conception. S’nuts, I tell ya! The Chinese Gender Chart says I’m having a girl. I must admit, I always kind of had a feeling that my firstborn would possess the V. Gosh, names, names, names! Oh, the possibilities! I like the name Greer for a boy but Grant hates it so it’s good thing we’re having a girl. Haha! Thank God for all that Chinese knowledge about important shit. Seriously. It’s now the Year of the (Water) Dragon…. and as they say, “Those born as dragons are “the strongest, smartest and the luckiest—supposedly”. Here’s to the hoping for the best… *cling* (with my empty wine glass)

Until next time…. xxxo

I can relate.

Jenny — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:14:35 +0000

photo by nigel tomm.

It’s March

Jenny — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:53:53 +0000

The sun is shining and the sex is good.

Hello.

Jenny — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:29:47 +0000

There is sooooo much going on. I can’t even filter through any of it to begin to tell you right now. I’m so busy but not exactly sure why. I do have 4 gigs this week. I want to live somewhere warm for a while. This snow blows– especially when you have to be out in it rather than laying on the couch getting cozy with your boyfriend.

Pick up a (614) Magazine and check out the article on my band. Sweet!

I got shit to do. Peace, homies.

Knock, knock. It’s 2010.

Jenny — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:50:31 +0000

So the New Year is here and I’ve been spending it on my couch for the most part. I did finally get up and do dishes and laundry and whatnot. Oh! And I FINALLY brought my keyboard in out of my car. It’s been stored in my trunk for at least the past few months, if not longer.
I’ve written down some of my resolutions for 2010– but not all of them. I’m putting a lot of thought into what I want to invest my heart and energy into this year. Prioritize a bit more. Oh anyway, blah blah blah…
I’ve been going out of town every chance I get lately. I get lonely on the weekends. I mean, cable and I have a very committed relationship…but I’m all caught up on every premium series available…and I hate commercials enough to avoid shows that aren’t available on demand.
I still have a chest cold. I hate that it takes so damn long to get rid of these things! I spent 2 hours at the gym this evening. I feel so much better getting back on that wagon. I’m considering growing my hair out again. Like you care.
That dumbass movie “Nine Months” with Hugh Grant is on the tv right now and I’m puking on the inside.
Cheers to the year of personal progress and accomplishments.

Move me, Brandi.

Jenny — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:14:20 +0000

I can only hope to write just one song in my one short life that will affect just one person the way that this song just affected me. I really enjoy her voice.

Studio version: http://www.last.fm/music/Brandi+Carlile/_/Before+It+Breaks

I appreciate the fragility of her LIVE performance.

Around here, it’s the hardest time of year
Waking up, the days are even gone
The collar of my coat
Lord help me, cannot help the cold
Will the rain drops sting my eyes
or keep them closed?

But I’m feelin’ no pain
I’m a little lonely and my quietest friend
Have I the moonlight? Have I let you in?

Say it aint so, say I’m happy again

Say it’s over
Say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks

I’m alright. Don’t I always seem to be?
Aren’t I swinging on the stars? Don’t I wear them on my sleeves?
Went looking for a crossroads, It happens everyday
And whichever way you turn, I’m gonna turn the other way

Say it’s over
Say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Learn to let it bend before it breaks

Sex Eyes

Jenny — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:25:04 +0000

Numbers and ages and numbers.

Jenny — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:17:37 +0000

Approaching 30. Things gotta get done. All.I’m.Sayin.

After not talking to or hearing from my Pastor of 12 years in forever, he called me out of the blue the other day just to tell me that God had put it on his heart to have me read Numbers 23:19-20. He said that what may seem like luck to me is an ordained blessing that’s been placed on my life and that it’s in fact not by chance but by the “master plan” that I have favor, or should I say “divine favor”. Anyway, I’m sure that my whopping 3 readers don’t believe in that stuff and have grown quite tired of hearing me ramble about all my Bible thumpin’ church background, but it wouldn’t surprise me if some greater power was at work on my behalf. I remember receiving “prophecies” and whatnot throughout my childhood and early adult life claiming that I would be and do things that I would never expect or imagine and often referring to said favor. Etc etc. I have church stories that would fill a book and I need to stop constantly bringing everything around to them… point is, I’m thankful– whatever force it be.

Numbers 23:19-20

¹⁹God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

²⁰Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.

I daydream about standing in front of this crowd.

"AAAH! IT'S JENNY LUUUUTE!" Who doesn't daydream about this?

Even still..

Jenny — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:08:52 +0000

I can’t get the pink hair completely out of my head heart. I know it’s sooo old news these days but I’ve always taken a liking to it– my day jobs have always prevented me from taking action– BUT I still want it. Choo choo!

Flight of Swans

Jenny — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:06:11 +0000

Why have I not purchased a single thing from Anthropologie?! Oh yeah, I’m too poor… BUT if I could this dress would be on the top of my purchasing list.